BurlingtonVT Moms Blog is partnering with Vermont Midwives Association to bring you our latest series titled “How I Became a Mother” in honor of Mother’s Day. Each of us has a unique journey on how we got here…here being in this crazy thing called motherhood. Some of us have grown our families through adoption, some through donor sperm. Some of us have struggled with infertility while others of us have needed to rely on faith and science. Bringing a child into this world is no less than miraculous regardless of how it’s done. These next two weeks we want to share with you the stories of how we became mothers, to let you know that no two families are born the same. Join us on this journey as we celebrate Moms!
Me? A Mom?
I was married before. I was actually married for like 8 years but the last 3 or so years were not so happy for me. We just grew apart and my ex just did not realize it. I was going to therapy and he was asking me when we were going to have kids. I said we would have kids when we didn’t have a crappy marriage. Needless to say – we didn’t have kids. In fact, I wasn’t sure if I would ever want to have kids.
I grew up thinking I would get married, have two kids and live happily ever after. As I became an adult I realized that things aren’t all puppy dogs and rainbows and life isn’t always like a fairytale. I know – you were all thinking my life was like a fairytale – sorry to disappoint. Don’t get me wrong – I have all that I would like and more – there just aren’t any fairy godmothers or fairytale creatures.
I had given up on men right before I met my husband, Brian. We are both divorced and he already had 2 kids (teenagers now!). So I became a step-mom and watched him father his two kids. There were times when I would sit there in awe listening to him speak to them and explain things to them like science and other things I don’t understand like outer space and math – especially math. I realized that I wanted to share in those – I wanted to have children to nurture and to love unconditionally and have them love me unconditionally.
A few years later we were in the doctor’s office having our 6 week ultrasound. I was feeling nervous and elated at the same time. We were going to have a baby. We had decided we would have one child and that would be enough for us since getting pregnant was difficult.
The person running the ultrasound machine said, “You are in for a wild ride” and I smiled.
Then he said to the nurse, “Can you find someone who can set this machine up for multiples?” and that’s when the panic set in a few curse words may have slipped out.
Apparently God had heard my prayers but he missed the part about me wanting to have a boy and a GIRL. Needless to say – the journey has been a long road but I wouldn’t have wanted it to turn out any other way.