Being the mom of two young boys, I ask a lot of questions on a daily basis.
Some of them fall under the mundane, from “What would you like for breakfast?” to “Did you brush your teeth?”
Others are more under the “OMG I’m turning into my parents” category.
Before I was a parent, I never really gave much thought to the questions asked of young children. Why would I? I was too busy sleeping late without tiny feet in my side and going to eat out whenever I wanted. Now that I have my boys, I am amazed at some of the questions that come out of my mouth.
Here are my top five questions I never thought I’d ask:
1. Why does the trash can smell like pee?
Well, you see, dear parent, as I’ve learned, when you have boys it turns out almost anything in the bathroom within shooting range can smell like urine. This includes but is not limited to: the floor, toilet, plunger, trash can, and anything else about two feet from the toilet.
2. Did you just lick your brother?
I grew up with my parents, sister, and grandmother in a multigenerational household. There were lots of females around with my dad being the only male. Growing up, my sister and I never did such things. But my boys? Yup, they’ll just haul off and lick each other like it’s nothing. I’m still figuring this one out, and out of all the battles I have to pick on a daily basis, I’m not sure I want to choose this one right now.
3. Where is your other shoe/sock?
Since my experience extends to boys in the house, I’m not sure if this happens with girls. But oftentimes, when my little ones are playing outside, one of these things is bound to go missing. They JUST had it on their feet, romping around in the dirt or playing on the swing set, but then all of a sudden I turn around, and lo and behold, a shoe and/or sock is missing. Where do they go? Do they walk off? Who takes them? I’m still looking…
4. What did you just eat?
Oh, the myriad of things that can go into a toddler’s mouth! Anything is fair game – floor food, dog food, legos, dirt, and rocks. Frequently we ask our youngest boy what is in his mouth. Take your eyes off of him for a second, and he’s snatched something off of the floor and shoved it in like it’s a piece of award-winning pie. Forget about trying to get it out on your own. No. Those jaws are clamped down shut and if you reach in, you will take the life of your fingers into your own hands. Luckily, he often complies within a few seconds and will spit whatever object out of his mouth, followed by a devilish grin and a giggle before running away.
And my favorite…
5. Are you naked already?!?
Yup, my house is apparently pants optional. In the winter it’s less of an issue but come to my house on any given warmish day, and the pants are off. Some days, I’ve just pulled into the driveway and my oldest has hopped out of the car and literally, I mean LITERALLY, in less than 30 seconds that kid is naked. Good thing we live in the country.
I know there are many other questions I ask every single day, but when I sit down and really think about it, these are definitely the ones that amuse me the most!