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To The New Mom Who Says Parenting is Easy

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From ScaryMommy.com

Oh, Mama! If you’ve been mingling on the mommy-blog scene lately, I’m sure you’ve come across this Facebook post by a fellow mom who is ranting about how easy parenting is and how the rest of us are all just plain lazy.

The line that particularly made my eye twitch, was this one: “Being a parent doesn’t mean leaving food under the couch, and never showering. I’m only two weeks in but so far I’ve managed to get enough sleep, cook decent meals for my family, keep my apartment clean, spend some time with Jaime, and my newborn is happy, well fed, well loved, bathed, and in clean clothes and clean diapers.”

My first thought was, “You have a two-week old… who’s putting food under your couch? Maybe that’s what Jaime is doing, because it certainly doesn’t sound like he’s helping out very much…”

There. I said my piece. Victory dance! Time for a snack, which I may stash under the couch to eat later, so my 4-year-old doesn’t ask for a bite.

And, of course, the responses on social media are as you would expect. This one may actually break the internet with parental outrage overload. ScaryMommy blog was quick to respond with this comment,

“I leave food under the couch so I can shower —  so suck it, lady. Kids! There’s an Oreo somewhere under the living room furniture! Who can find it first?

YES! Thank you! How dare this woman call my parenting lazy? If it’s lacking in any way… it’s because I’m working 3 jobs from home while trying to care for a child. I often allow my daughter to eat in the living room and watch TV so that I can make a conference call. And, I leave the food under the couch to take time to play with her before bed, because there certainly isn’t always time for both. My soul screams, “I’m a GOOD mom!”

My blood was boiling, and I felt I needed to respond. So, I took a step back. I talked myself down off the mommy ledge by repeating a few key phrases:

  1. “Social media is becoming a ‘shock me, shock me, shock me’ culture, where posts and stories are often fabricated to create hype and drive traffic to blogs.” I’m not saying that happened here, but it certainly would be easy to write a post on my Facebook page, like, “Moms who breastfeed are disgusting,” list a bunch of stupid “facts,” censor out my name, and start a social media war. Super easy.
  2. “If this is real, this woman is going to need a huge amount of support next week when the baby stops sleeping, gets a week-long stomach flu, goes through a growth spurt, and starts breastfeeding for 6 hours at a time, while you now have that same flu.” True story.
  3. “Just as she shouldn’t judge other people’s parenting styles, or as I call them, ‘survival tactics,’ I shouldn’t judge hers. In due time, she’ll learn. She’ll get it. In fact, kudos to you, new mommy for having an easy 2 weeks! You are doing GREAT, and we other mamas will be here for you when the sh*t (literally) hits the fan.”

After repeating these sentences about 25 times, my heart was suddenly filled with love for this new mom, for all new moms.

We should never be afraid to celebrate our victories or share our defeats. Let’s just leave out the judgy part. Not cool. You may not know this yet, so we’ll let this one slide, but we don’t do that to each other.

And, instead of fueling the social-media fire, let’s just trust that karma will take care of the situation. If this woman really wants to run an “Other Moms Are Lazy” campaign, we can all be 100% certain that someone will give her a good smack in the colic aisle at Babies ‘R’ Us.

Until then, keep up the good work, Super Mom!

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