I don’t know if I’m going to make it until mid-June in one piece.
From the outside, I look semi-put together. On the inside, I’m trying to find all the pieces of my brain. School’s end craziness is swallowing me whole.
This afternoon, I looked up at the clock. 1:30 pm on a Tuesday. I ran through the mental list of everything I should be doing before I picked my son up from school at 3. Then I thought about what needed to be accomplished the rest of the day, the week, the next three weeks. One of these thoughts was, “I’m going to be cutting it close getting my BVTMB blog post in on time this go around.” While not the end of the world, I checked in with Jemima, our co-owner/editor. This is literally the message I sent her:
Now, I don’t like making excuses but, in a way, this was me venting. I don’t know what it is about May and June.
My kids are not even that old, at ages 6 and 3, and I’m feeling increasingly overwhelmed as mid-June approaches.
I don’t know if it’s the fact that the weather is getting nicer, that it’s lighter later and my kids aren’t sleeping as long as they used to as a result, or that they sense a transition coming, but I feel like parenting is more exhausting than usual.
Maybe it’s a combination of all of the above. My kids are a bit more cranky and more clingy it seems. I have had to settle more arguments between my kids than is typical. Other times, their silliness gets out of control and neither of them listens This causes me to lose my temper more quickly than normal. They definitely have a case of school’s end craziness and it is driving me bonkers.
On top of that, our schedule is full.
If you check out our calendar, you will find T-ball twice a week, Cub Scouts weekly, end of the year school celebrations, dance rehearsals and the final, anxiety-ridden dance recital.
Oh, the recital. I was so excited for my daughter’s first dance recital. That is, until some parents who were unfamiliar to her came and watched an extra rehearsal over the weekend. It is not their fault that my stress was activated, it was her reaction. My poor little girl just lost it. Newly developed stage fright, I suppose. I was surprised because she is usually the more outgoing child of my two. Now, I am nervous about the recital.
Since then, I’ve been doing all I can to try to help her prepare for what the recital entails in hopes that maybe she will be able to go out there and do well after all. I’m well aware that she’s only three years-old and, if she won’t go on stage, then she just won’t. However, I want so badly to set her up for success and help her with her stage fright. I am spending a lot of time trying to talk up the show and calm her nerves.
Did I mention my daughter also developed her very first blister on her toe yesterday? Because she did. Of course, this would happen on dance recital week.
I apparently have three more days to try to help it heal before dress rehearsal. Luckily, some antibiotic cream is doing its job so far. If it doesn’t heal all the way, we are well stocked with moleskin. We can power through, bandaging it up before she goes out there. That is if she even will go onstage.
We also just started some major house construction because Vermont only has one time of year that it is ideal for outdoor projects. You can imagine the added chaos in my household.
Then there are the extra outdoor chores’ that reappear in May. These include mowing the lawn, weeding, and planting the 40 annuals you bought because it seemed like a good idea at the time. These are activities I actually tend to like doing. However, they ultimately become time-consuming tasks that need to be wedged between all the rest of the school’s end craziness.
Add all that to my normal cooking and cleaning– and my world feels overwhelming at the moment.
Despite all this school’s end craziness, I feel I have done a good job holding it together. That is, except this past Sunday afternoon when a bird flew into my car tire while I was driving.
I looked back in the rearview mirror and saw it hadn’t made it. That was the tipping point. I cried for a few minutes. Tears streamed down my face as I drove. My husband tried to console me. He told me it wasn’t my fault. The bird had flown in on its own accord; I didn’t hit it with my car, it hit my car. While my husband was right, I was really crying not only because of the bird, but because I was feeling entirely overwhelmed by everything at that moment.
I don’t know how my parents handled the school’s end craziness as calmly as they did when I was growing up.
As a high schooler, I participated in far more time-consuming activities than my children do now at ages 6 and 3. I cannot fathom what it was like for my parents back then, or how my experiences this time of year will change and intensify as my children get older. I’ve been trying to handle my own feelings of overwhelm and anxiety by making sure I’m exercising a little each day and drinking enough water.
I probably need to do more for myself, though.
Getting more sleep is on top of my list of things to do. However, when my mind is racing and I have a hard time of just letting go of all of my thoughts at night, this is easier said than done. Eating better would also probably be to my advantage. All this stress has me craving carbs, chocolate and everything bad. I cannot say I’ve entirely ignored these cravings. So, I will keep venting when I have to and continue to try to find some effective coping mechanisms. (I tried burying myself under my bed covers so no one could find me, but my children are experts at hunting me down).
The school’s end craziness only lasts for a little while. My kids are worth it and I will hang on for the ride.
In the meantime, I’ll look for other ways to take care of myself and look forward to a fun-filled, relaxing super busy summer with two children at home 24/7.
I know I can’t be the only parent going through this.
Hang on tight, ladies and gentlemen! The home stretch of the school’s end craziness parenting games has arrived. And, to quote the Hunger Games, because this situation is starting to feel a little desperate, “May the odds be ever in your favor.”